The Ocean Has A Shore

 My Utmost For His Highest – Shallow and Profound

 

 

Here are the parts from the above link that I chose as highlights, that parts that spoke to me the most. Please feel free to check out the link to read the article in its entirety (italics and all caps are mine):

“Beware of allowing yourself to think that the shallow aspects of life are not ordained by God; they are ordained by Him equally as much as the profound. We sometimes refuse to be shallow, not out of deep devotion to God, but because we wish to impress other people with the fact that we are not shallow. This is a sure sign of spiritual pride….God became a baby….To be shallow is not a sign of being sinful, nor is shallowness an indication that there is no depth to your life at all – THE OCEAN HAS A SHORE. Even the shallow things of life, such as eating and drinking, walking and talking, are ordained by God. These are all things our Lord did. He did them as the Son of God, and He said, ‘A disciple is not above his teacher….’ (Matthew 10:24)….Never show the depth of your life to anyone but God….Make a determination to take no one seriously except God. You may find that the first person you must be the most critical with, as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself.”

Wow! I’m still struck by how this speaks to me! So much goes on in my life, largely due to my tendency to dwell on things and to get way too deep inside. I like those times when I can just sit and think in stillness, and I like to be able to get thoughts sorted out in my head. That’s all fine and dandy, but I tend to do that too much. Vern, one of my Briercrest friends, told me I think too much, and it’s true! There’s nothing wrong with thinking things through and with having those deep moments, but I’ve come to the conclusion that that’s what the deep times should be – moments; not a way of life.

Yes, there are many things in life that shouldn’t be laughed off or taken lightly, but God did create us with the ability to enjoy life, and I want to do more of that. I have been since I first read the above article, and THE OCEAN HAS A SHORE has been sticking in my head. Whenever the temptation to dwell too much on anything or anyone other than God comes to me, that phrase, or something like it, comes to mind, and I find it easier to stop dwelling than I used to. I still dwell on things, and this will take a while to get out of the habit. After all, no change that is due to last a long time can be changed overnight. Well, not without a miracle from God. I’m not looking for a quick fix here or the lazy way out. Well, the lazy way out might be great if I knew that it’d really work and all, but I’m willing to work at what’s lasting and at what’s good and true and helpful.

So how’s this been helping me since I started thinking about the ocean’s shore? I was trying to think of examples, but it’s not been easy to think of things. Maybe I’m trying too hard to come up with examples. haha   Actually, while I was concerned and nervous about my recent time in the hospital this past Thursday, I did find that I wasn’t thinking too much about it in a worried or overly nervous way. I’m thankful for that! Of course I was concerned, especially about the unknown (like whether I’d feel anything during the operation or whether I’d be aware of anything while it was going on, and would there be any pain, or what if something happened), but I wasn’t dwelling on the concerns. I prayed about them, and I knew many others were praying, and that’s a good thing. That’s always a great comfort to me. It’s a way people are showing they care, and I’ve got a great circle of family and friends to do so. It helps me to stop dwelling on things because I know that others are lifting the whole thing up to God.

This does NOT mean that I’m excused from thinking things through or from working things through when necessary; nor does it mean that I have no need to pray myself or to do what I can when it comes to responsibilities and things I need to look after. For example, health issues. If something’s wrong, there are doctors who’ve gained knowledge through schooling and keeping up with things who are there to help me. I go to them, and they help me out. I have a responsibility to take care of my body through good food and water and exercise and plenty of rest. I admit to being negligent here, but it’s my own fault.

Just as there’s a need on my part to look after my body, I do have to look after my soul and spirit and emotions and mind, as well as all other parts of me, whatever they may be. There are so many facets, eh? I can’t just slough things off because I’m focusing on God, but they are not to be my focus. I’m tired of being so deep into myself that that’s all I’m focused on, that all other things take second place. Actually, God must be first, and all other things fall into place as this happens.

THE OCEAN HAS A SHORE. One thing I’ve realised about myself is that I’m a deep, deep ocean with a shallow, shallow shore. There are vast depths to me that will most likely never be completely explored, which is fine and which I’m fine with. After all, I don’t need to explore every part of me to live fully, and I don’t need to know everything that’s there. If I need to know something, God’ll make me aware of it. My shore is shallow. What I actually show to the world is nothing compared to what’s deep inside. There are many things about me that people will never know, even those closest to me. God knows, and that really is enough for me. So don’t try to figure me out. haha  I like to have fun! I like to take enjoyment as it comes, and I haven’t been doing enough of that. I love life and I want to live it to its fullest. I don’t want to take myself or others too seriously. That doesn’t really solve anything, and it only makes me think about things too much.

Yes, think about things. Work through issues. Don’t neglect the things that need my attention. Make sure to maintain the relationships that are most important to me. Be responsible and hard working and diligent, and take care of what needs to be taken care of.

Yet don’t make those the end-all-be-all of life. Life’s too short to take everything so seriously. Since I’ve been starting to remember that THE OCEAN HAS A SHORE, I really have begun to enjoy life a bit more and have felt lighter and freer. This is a process and is something I have to learn and keep on working at, especially after 38-going-on-39 years of thinking and worrying and being overly concerned. Whenever I’ve looked back, I’ve seen that a lot of things I thought were ever so serious and urgent weren’t nearly as huge as I though.

“You may find that the first person you must be the most critical with, as being the greatest fraud you have ever known, is yourself.”

Yes, I’m a fraud! I am, really! I’ve been coming across as deep, which I’ve already admitted that I am, but I’m really a shallow person, too. I haven’t been letting my shallowness come through because I’ve always thought it to be a bad thing. Who that I know wants to be considered shallow? No one I really know. Yet what’s wrong with being shallow? I don’t mean vapid or as an air head or anything like that, but in the sense that things aren’t taken as seriously as I’ve previously thought they needed to be. I don’t want a nervous stomach the rest of my life, and I don’t want to risk developing ulcers or anything else that’s caused by stress and worrying. What’s the point? Why live with pain when I don’t have to?

Yes, I’m deep, but when it comes right down to it, I don’t think I’m really as deep as I’ve made myself out to be. I am a serious person until people get to know me. Then I’m still serious, but not nearly as how much I come across to be. I have a huge guard I have to let down, huge walls I’ve built up because of past hurts, and part of that is the depths I’ve let people see.

I’m thankful to look back since 23 November, when I read the above article, that I have lightened up somewhat. Of course it hasn’t even been a month yet, but it’s coming, and I’m not expecting a quick turn around here. This past week I have been back in my old habit of dwelling too much on stuff, and, yeah, I could justify it by saying that it was something validly worth being nervous about. But is it? I was in good hands, and people were praying. God’s in charge, and it’s great to know I can leave it all with Him. Once I realised that on Wednesday, things settled down and I settled down as well. Oh, I was still concerned and wondering about what would happen, and I am wondering about the results, which I’ll find out 2 January, but that’s normal. God doesn’t expect us to stop thinking or to stop being concerned. What He does want, though, is for us to leave things at His feet, in His hands, and to stop worrying. He’s in control, and, really, is there anything better?